I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
