Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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