If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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