We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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