If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
