we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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