So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
