she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Who died my cat blue again?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
