Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
