White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Randomize
