That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize