How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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