addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
