I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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