Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
