You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
