mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
