If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
