somebody snuck up and got me drunk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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