dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
