A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
