And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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