yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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