piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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