afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
