can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
