who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
