I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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