I hate your face
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
