I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
