I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Your shirt... Was in my pants
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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