I just saw a hot homeless man
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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