WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize