Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
BRING THE BAGELS
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
