Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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