i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
