I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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