You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
