no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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