she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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