Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
