A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You need Xanax blowdarts
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
