Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
