brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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