i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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