dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Is it penis luge time yet?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
