I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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