Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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