Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
