i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
