Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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