every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
