just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
