It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
