Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
