Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
