How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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