I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
