piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
