I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
