yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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