We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
